Anxiety – one of my
biggest downfalls. Anxiety is fear of the future. Much like depression, it
arises as a result of not living in the present. I’m a relatively happy person and was an
extremely happy child. I typically find joy in the smallest of things. As a
child, a trip to McDonalds was enough to make me smile all day and now one word
of encouragement has me on cloud nine for days at a time. Although my anxiety
does not paralyze me as it does for some, it often prevents me from enjoying my
life here and now.
We live in a world
full of unknowns. For me, finances are my biggest worry (as it is for many). As
well as where will I be living a year from now? Who will I become? What friends
will I make? When will I be able to start my master’s program? I have so many
questions and so few answers. I have the knowledge that God is concerned with
the details of my life. He knows the outcome and that should bring me great
peace. I’m just going to be real: that
doesn’t always comfort me. I feel that many use the phrase, “God knows the
outcome and you just have to trust Him.” Although the thought is fine-and-dandy,
it honestly has come to sound cliché to my ears. I think a more practical
outlook comes from Matthew 6:34, “Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow,
for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own
trouble.” Sometimes I need to be reminded that I can only worry about
today. What can I do about today? Humans do not gravitate towards patience. That
means when I’m waiting for an answer, I have to be okay with waiting. I have to
practice taking my thoughts captive. I have to practice worrying about today
only. Even better, I should just practice at not worrying at all..but we all
know that’s never going to happen!
Anxiety is
a natural response. I believe there are times where it is an appropriate
response. It’s when it begins to overtake our lives that it becomes dangerous
and debilitating. So I’m working on taking my life one day at a time. I’m
working on living in the moment.
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